Riffs

As I stirred the fireplace embers I shivered once more in that bitter cold

The empty, hopeless sounds of frozen gray dawns again overwhelmed me

You placed a hand gently on my shoulder, asking when I would be to bed

After the explosion I lay deafened, curled up and unwilling to move again

After what seemed like minutes the wail of the sirens drew near

Your blood felt warm upon my skin in the bright winter sun of the desert

I nodded under the shade trees in the park during the balmy summer twilight

Snatches of long-forgotten conversations filled my head in brief, popping bubbles

At last I heard mothers calling all us kids home for supper

I would always dream I had skipped a very difficult class right up until finals week

Nonetheless I would not give up my plans for graduation

Sometimes I would let that rowdy boy laugh at the old fool he found himself within

As the rusty red sun rose again over gray streets, July lacked a purpose

Pulling on our dirty work clothes once more, we found it difficult to hurry

A tinny radio greeted us in the beat up old truck as the dog watched us go

She saw too much for many years working intake at the emergency room

She took care of others and watched herself as she let go

Just the same, she still remembered that young Nurse Nancy in her new white cap

As the hot, dry wind came up again I remembered rainy summer days

We were on call for heart attacks, drunks and motorcycle wrecks

As the tones vibrated me to my feet, briefly I recalled a dream that I had left

Laying in sweat and dirt under the car I thanked Jesus for his help, once again

It occurred to me that I would not reflect back upon this time with pleasure

I was fumbling blindly for a missing tool when I heard the children laugh at play

Long after my injury I tried to recall moving without first considering the pain

The neighbors often greeted me kindly as I slowly shuffled by

I wondered if my mind was as worn out as my body, but simply could not let me know

Though I was not affected by the layoffs I still found it difficult to sleep

I needed to reconsider family debt in this new and uncertain light

The sleepy boredom of my children helped calm me in the morning

Decades later they briefly visited us while comparing notes with each other

I felt uncomfortable and small in the presence of those brave foreign pilots

They had brought the war to this village that they could barely see from so far above

I felt I stood among them as they gazed down upon my broken body

I helped them to position me for treatment and turned on the oxygen

It was not until much later that they awoke me with the grinding pain

They kept fairly low profiles as they pulled strings and bought and sold

They paid off officials to rezone, built cheaply and congratulated each other

They did not begin to worry until their expensive tires were slashed again

He spent time cleaning up the riverside campsites that others left behind

The meadow was immaculate and pure but his clothes were torn and dirty

He often went for days on end without a decent media immersion

After the baby was born she tucked him in a discarded milk container

She was surprised and astonished upon delivering the afterbirth

Later that same day liberals heard the child’s weak cries from a green recycling bin

The intrepid, overweight hunter removed his glasses to use the rifle scope

The great bear skinned the giant salmon with his awful teeth

The fatal stroke had already claimed him but he reflexively pulled the trigger

He missed the camaraderie, the danger and the excitement of prison life

It was almost a relief when he was again convicted of assault and possession -

For no one but his jail posse could ever understand his life experience

I bookmarked my musings upon imagined slights and got up for the next big meeting

It was another make or break decision for which we must all get on board

Though my plate was full, I promised to stay on message with the take away

They surprised me as I ripped through their shit, looking for things to sell

The guy looked pretty scared but the woman screamed for my blood

I pulled up and twisted hard as my knife went to its hilt inside his stomach

Safely buzzed, I wasn’t tormented by the soft voices of our Ancient Ones

The merciless sun beat down on our government modular and our trash blew downwind

Dust clouds smudged the desert sky again as I returned with more cold beer

They worked me so hard I even dreamed about the problems they set before me

Though I achieved the certificate, I remembered clearly my many weaknesses

It was like that many years later when I would often dream of dying

I bade them fix the books with a wink and a nod which made me rich

Later I convinced myself that I honestly said I had no knowledge of their fabrications

Council advised me to say only how eagerly I looked forward to clearing my name

I was overturned and swimming before I had the slightest inkling

As I fought for the surface the current washed me into a quiet eddy

In that brief transcendent moment, I needed consider nothing else