Drifting Away

Watching myself from a safe vantage point as my life slips away...

Gave all my papers to some lost Mexican way down in Arizona

           Currently I use the toll-free number of a virtual sex queen as my SSN

I no longer drink the water and cheap tequila is now too much for me

           I post my philosophy online in our great city libraries

My hands look worn and I have no need of mirrors anymore

          I go and swap the stuff I find for clean clothes at the thrift store

There’s food to be had out behind most every other Safeway out in California

          Young guys beat me until I passed out, curled up like a sleeping baby

I appear mentally challenged but I’m just exploring alternative lifestyles

          But I worked so long I‘m thinking I might be permanently impaired

Still, the longer that I travel, the more roads I pass that I know I will never take

          Like to take another bad job now and again, for a day or two, just to remember

Quite often spend time talking to real nice people from the other side

          Feels good when I realize I’m not sure what day it is

Somehow find time to swim for hours in warm freshwater lakes

          Love to play those parts that arouse the passion of the evangelicals

I have no appliances, no mortgages or leased automobiles

          Don’t even have any credit score at all, anymore

Watch myself get cheated and ignored behind my toothless smile

          Never miss the berry harvests as I go from East to West

Spent good times with some endangered species in places on my way

          Shit my pants while in jail but it kept my rear end safe

Try to go to disaster sites to help out and to eat all that good free food

          Spent one Winter in a cave somewhere in the Colorado mountains

Hiked Escalante in early Spring before it got too hot and crowded

          Got so lost I just started over in the next place that I stumbled through

Some of the young folks stare and ask me questions for a while

          Take care of old, lost dogs for as long as they can make it

Washed in sea water for six weeks until the rains began to fall

          Surfed with the seals and dove with the otters in the kelp

Panned for gold on the Rogue and smoked the salmon that I caught

          Went fishing with a guy whose trailer had just burnt to the ground

Had some women travel with me but I cannot really care like I did, so long ago

          Try to keep a low profile lest I be mistaken for a tourist or a terrorist

I frighten tight-faced little mommies in their shining mini-vans

          Their kids wave to me from the back windows as they haul ass on by

It’s so much easier writing on yellow Sticky notes than trying to explain

          Never have lost that old flute I play at night when no one is around

Spend a lot of time in the past when it gets real hot outside

          Walk many miles a day without an adequate destination

Often stumble into free clinics with some kind of infection or another

          Got arrested with some hippies for simply joining hands around a tree

Late at night like to ponder the quantum physics I read about in the library

          Sometimes mumble to myself in Spanish just because it comes back to me

Figure that I am at least trying to make sense of what I see

          Don’t have that funny hankering for a noisy ATV

I take shelter under large spruce trees when it snows heavily in April

          Roll up with that mongrel dog sniffing around over there

Like to cook and bake for people when I get the chance

          Watching myself from a safe vantage point as my life slips away

See that the boys were sent off to die for no good reason, once again

          Don’t think the paranoia was quite so overt when I was younger

I have not spoken, except to stray dogs, for well onto five, six years

          Sometimes I howl with all my heart on those cold, blue-light Winter days

I piss blood and see bright spots but I can still run with all my belongings

          Like to drift up north with the sun until the longest day in June

Spend time floating rivers when they are swollen with the snowmelt

          Watched the bears catch the last salmon and the whole country turn to shit

Listened to the birds that sang in between the roars of savage traffic

          Will take a nap where it’s cool and quiet on those long hot afternoons

Cannot be found in market surveys and am not a target customer

          Never forgot that girl I knew, once upon a magic summer time

Lost my mom and dad real long ago and have no children to survive me

          Sometimes, in my mind, I get even with those who have wronged me

Can’t drink too much anymore and gave up smoking many years ago

          Have a fear of noisy, crowded places that I have never overcome

Don’t have a sense of style but was taught to read and write quite well

          Often like to go off into the woods by myself with the dogs

Enjoy the snowfall immensely when arriving from some hot, dry land

          Worked 20 years with all my might, then they just turned me out for good

Once found me a perfect spot and stayed there all summer long

          Don’t want to imagine my life when there’s a lot of people just like me

Lost my IRA and ripped through all my savings many years ago

          The Social Security people don’t know me, but it’s quite alright

Try to avoid the cities as they seem to bring me only trouble

          Stay away from my rural brothers in their silly, sickly Meth labs

Write about it when I can, and try to think about my way back to the void

          Did all the math back there in college but sure don’t need that now

Like to be up and about in that magic hour that comes just before the sunrise

          Late afternoons and early evenings also suit my wandering tastes

Learned not to look at women wearing sunglasses with the windows up in their shiny cars

          Have trouble affording shoes that do not fall apart within just a couple miles

Marvel at the expensive autos and the new clothes of everybody flashing by

          Not sure what they are leaving behind, except for their trash

Thank my lucky stars when I see how most people overseas have to suffer

          Sleeping in an empty woods and washing in a clean stream seems quite a blessing

Like working odd jobs for the well-to-do and learning from them observing me

          Don’t get spam or junk mail or loan offers on the phone during dinnertime

Left my Social Security contributions behind for those less fortunate than me

          Take a curious and academic interest in the slow decay of my faculties

Sometimes meet young engineers and they tell me what projects excite them now

          Spend time cleaning up the trash that people leave in our parks and forests

Lost all interest in politics just as I did in all the other forms of mass entertainment

          Found that you can trust those possessed of most any type of quiet faith

Try to be holed up somewhere safe on weekends and, especially, during holidays

          Come out and travel during the work week when the kiddies are in school

Cut my own hair and try to trim what’s sprouting from my nose and ears

          Gave up discussing social issues when I adjusted to this new lifestyle

Don’t sit there begging with dumb placards on smoggy street corners for a living

          Eat the berries with the bears where it’s still clean and quiet

Notice that my eyes are growing cloudy and my hands are gnarled and wrinkled

          Do not have enough time to forget all the hurtful things before I have to leave

Wonder who now would use those lessons that I was taught so carefully, so long ago

          Hope that very few can afford or will accept my chosen lifestyle

Like to engage in conversation with strangers and think about what they have to say

          Take time to ponder where I came from and the void I stand so close to

Cannot understand why everything has to always be so goddamned noisy

          Enjoy going out on the Great Plains of Eastern Montana towards the end of Fall

Glad when I don’t know about a movie star or some asinine TV show

          Ingest the news with a European flavor on the BBC or Deutsche Welle

Laugh as the conservative creationists scoff at the fuzzy thinking tree-huggers

          Eat healthy and try to think straight but can’t seem to get right with God

Set there watching the big salmon fining in the shadows underneath the bridge

          Watch the bulldozers as they rip up yet another peaceful meadow

Took too many rays for too long but can’t afford to have all them lesions fixed

          Know where the sun rises at different latitudes at vital times of the year

Don’t have to worry about trying to find my way back home anymore

          Always help clean up afterwards when I get invited to eat with other people

Have not watched a movie for years, don’t have a TV or a house to put one in

          The times have passed me by but I still get a good laugh at what’s happening today

It’s hard to be influenced by slick and expensive propaganda that I never see

          Living in the past, I compare it with the sights and sounds of today

Always happy to help out when trees need to be planted

          Try to give blood every once in a while but nobody will take it

Like to ride up front in big SUVs just to feel that sense of power and real control

          Keep my opinions to myself since they don’t even make sense to me

Lost a couple of steps and added pounds to go with the bruises and the injuries

          Haven’t got any smarter but I think I’ve learned from all that I have seen

Don’t have any keys and I swapped for my IDs somewhere at a flea market

          Will stop to hear the aspen quaking next to a gently flowing stream

Not a real fan of eating on the go in some kind of moving vehicle

          Take showers more often than I get to wash my clothes

Leave all my free camp spots cleaner than I found them

          Won’t pee near the creeks or leave toilet tissue in the underbrush

Need to overcome this anger with those who just drop their fast food wrappers

          Worked with a young psycho who turned out to be the son I was so glad I never had

Never feel real peace as the traffic roars on by like I do somewhere in the woods

          Must have real issues since I cannot accept smog and dirty pavements

Watched as others fumbled in a vacuum as I took the fall to further their careers

          Stayed up late and got up early far too long for forgotten, useless projects

Don’t want to poison, fertilize, water and mow any neat rectangular factory bluegrass

          Have a need to work at some fruit orchard at least once every harvest

Picked the grapes in the south of France one long autumn with the other Gypsies

          Followed the Monarch butterflies down to Mexico early one Winter

Add nothing to society and do not promote my selfish lifestyle to any others

          Burned out and turned out, it was either adapt or perish, so now I’m gone

Tired of seeing and hearing you and your loud, spoiled kids ruining things and having fun

          Lost my place in whatever book I was reading and had to start all over

Won’t believe in ghosts, God, New Age crystals or the latest in technology

          No use for war, deceit, politics, leaders on TV or the global economy

Spend no time dressing for success but I do not have any debts

          Will take a little red wine now and again in the evening

Like to think about how old is the universe and how short is my life

          Got a pretty good idea that this all won’t really matter in about 5 million years or so

Bake bread for the people who understand what crust is all about

          Really is a relief not to be attracted by so many women all the time, anymore

Never had a yacht or a Ferrari, no trophy wife or giant third home in Aspen

          But I wear designer clothes finally marked way down, even at the thrift stores

Try to avoid places where they turn dogs upon me and their children throw stones

          See the blind pseudopods of blessed progress in all directions, everywhere I go

Tasted diesel fumes in the air for so long it makes me cough even now

          Enjoy telling new bosses that I’m moving on as soon as I read them through

Don’t have anything to barter for my dental work so I brush with utmost care

          Listen to theological scholars on AM radio sometimes, just for entertainment

Tossed a cast-off burning cigarette butt back into some guy’s pickup truck

          Went to the hospital for a month but could not remember just what for

My only lasting address is good old free Internet email

          I’m off to spend more of that time I saved throughout all those crazy years