We Cannot Help But Howl

Like a wolf pack howling in the silence of a cold arctic darkness

There is no hope whatsoever, therefore we resolve to try all the harder

There is no chance for survival but still, we must choose life

The end is always very near but, quite naturally, we decide to work instead of dance

Things cannot possibly turn out, but we must still try and arrange them

There can be no happy ending but we consciously decide to ignore that

Though many are taken every day, we who remain always continue on

The goal remains forever unattainable so our only victory is in the struggle

Despite the inescapable certainty, we play on against the overwhelming odds

There is no far-off light to seek yet we still grope through the darkness

Our feet will never feel the bottom but it does not stop our swimming

Though no spirit can ever hear us we cannot help but sing

Tossed in this swirling entropy we do not abandon ourselves to chaos and confusion

We know not where we come from, yet, we must struggle before we return

We choose to live despite an implacable end leading to an unknowable

Blackness and mystery surround us, but we strive out of more than just simple fear

Despite the meaninglessness of the infinite emptiness, we retain a sense of purpose

Though the nights are cold and the winters long, somehow we look to the Spring

Casting off an imaginary heaven we nevertheless cannot lose the lonely faith that sustains us

No matter that we are lost and wet and hungry, there is no child who is a stranger

Even as we are being overtaken there is no quenching our need to understand

Right as we disappear beneath the wheel, we are still waving the others onward

We dare to peer into the blackness and not give in to empty pleasure seeking

No warmly lit and peaceful shelter awaits us, and yet we must still travel on

It cannot be otherwise, or we would be most certainly far worse than simply lost

Though we find no evidence of worthiness from our efforts, they can never cease

The Tao That

the Tao that is spoken cannot be heard

the Tao that is grasped still feels like the air

the Tao that is shared cannot be communicated

the Tao once observed is thereby forever altered

the Tao that is finally written

does not contain a single word

the Tao that is measured is thus resized again

the Tao once forgotten returns to its course

the Tao that is captured acts as does water

it reveals only the shape of its container

the Tao glimpsed as mere shadow

yields hints of its true nature

the Tao given off by events unrelated

forms the overtones stored within an echo

the Tao once grasped

evaporates quickly into nonsense

the Tao that is denied

accepts each and every argument

the Tao once visualized

dissolves like a dream upon reflection

the Tao exists not within us

but can fill our minds just the same

the Tao truly described

has no real outline

the Tao pursued

joins the moving shadows

the Tao defined

has no meaning

the Tao that is realized

lights our path without a source

the Tao imagined

is a dream of dreaming

the Tao ignored

is perfectly reflected

the Tao defiled

soils only the observer

the Tao once forsaken

creeps back from every side

the Tao clung to

does not remain on the fingers

the Tao not completed

gains eternal life

the Tao not considered

is freed to be revealed

the Tao not isolated

keeps to itself

the Tao not evaluated

retains its full potential

the Tao is not dilated

yet expands with the universe

the Tao not distanced

remains far away

the Tao not visible

is much easier to see

the Tao not called upon

gives forth a flood of answers

the Tao not present

outlines the entire truth within

the Tao not reconsidered

is considered once too often

the Tao not focused directly upon

reveals its minutest details

the Tao seen as shattered

is identical in each smaller piece

the Tao that is analyzed

is an unsorted and incomplete fossil

the Tao that is broken

is perfect in all respects

the Tao that bubbles from within

has a source outside the spring

the Tao that is filtered

gains impurities but loses nothing

the Tao that is polarized

is the same on either side of the filter

the Tao that fills the night sky

travels outside the speed of light

the Tao that covers everything

drifts down in spaces between the snowflakes

the Tao that lasts forever

never existed as it struck you

the Tao of uncountable infinities

exists outside of The Life Force

the Tao effects that we see

occur without actions that we could measure

the Tao that we will never know

we ignore at our utmost peril

the Tao that stretches back beyond forever

recurs completely in each smallest instant

Prismatics

I looked down into the depths of that clear and moving water

I saw memories shimmering in and out of the past

I listened as gentle breezes carried the sounds of the woods

I heard echoes of other times returning from far down the canyon

I stroked the gnarly bark of an ancient evergreen

I felt the calm which flowed from far beneath its surface

I breathed deeply of the earth, moistened by the gentle rains

I smelled the smoky fires that once had kept us safe

I walked alone in wasted landscapes dressed in filthy rags

I paused in the meadow as you bent to pick some flowers

I worked with hateful strangers and counted each and every minute

I tried to hold onto every moment in which we sat in peace

I steeped in all the influences that droned on about me from all sides

I drew only upon the faint but clear light that I found within

I groped my way in the mists of the profoundest of confusion

I lost my sight while searching but began to gain a vision

I read of far off galaxies and creatures that lived long ago

I began to understand the anxiety which marked my whole life thru

I gazed upon the yellow aspen leaves as they trembled in the fall

I felt my spirit rise into the deep blue sky which framed them

I sensed the gentle return of Spring upon my cheeks and forehead

I no longer had a need to stare straight into the sun simply to be sure

I stumbled on the broadest trail in the clearest light of day

I fell alone but then arose to find you there and awaiting me

I could pay no attention to the slow marching of all the passing years

I found myself in ever greater debt to many I would never know

I watched the sun go slowly down and then quickly disappear

I noted with interest, but not sorrow, the lines upon my hands

I found quiet joy in the large snowflakes that fell slowly from all directions

I dreamed a robot said on TV that factory food was his home cooking

I grew stronger playing happily in the shade of those old trees

I grew old standing quietly, protecting others from the sun

I sold out to the unfaithful for little more than a song

I finally went quite bankrupt and gladly mortgaged just my soul

I watched the tiny wavelets produced by a pebble

I saw a young boy skipping stones on a glacial lake long ago

I noticed that it had grown quite late and the streets were very empty

I hurried ever onward but slowly realized that I was not sure of the way

I leaped wide from basic instincts to unsupported conclusions

I fell so far I had no more need of either reason or excuses

I listened as the crows gathered and each tried to talk at once

I heard but a single voice that was both calm and reassuring

I walked far up an unknown trail hoping just to find a quiet overlook

I turned that last corner just as the first raindrops began to fall

I spoke but little as the days grew short and their shadows lengthened

I told these simple stories that I did not understand and no one else could hear

I looked upon peaks buried deep in snow, glistening in the winter sun

I wished that I had seen them before all these tourists had arrived

I listened for the faint tinkling of the gentle rain upon the windows

I heard that old wooden clock still ticking somewhere in the past

I studied many subjects during long years spent at all those schools

I learned so slowly that I could know but little in my very short lifetime

I spoke out often and with vigor when things did not seem right

I kept to myself when I finally realized that it had the same effect

I traveled on for what seemed like ages as the years came and went

I had arrived at some point but, until much later, could not really notice

I dozed off many times to the sounds of a stream

I awoke from dreams of my own dreaming and I was vaguely uncertain

I created a rich inner life more enjoyable than the shared illusion of reality

I was molded day and night by the wills and choices of those I did not see

I sat quietly in the pre-dawn watching colors return to the countryside

I arose to plod through another day sharing this land of make believe

I went so far back through my life that there were no longer any memories

I concluded there must come another time like that, and it would begin very soon

I grew up with the security of the imagined wonders yet to come

I grew old in the comfort of my own refashioned memories

I imagined the world as it still might have become

I believed in a world as I wished it might have been

I listened attentively for sounds I thought I may have missed

I heard snatches of blissful silence punctured by their raucous outbursts

I set out on my way with trepidation, doubt and uncertainty many years ago

I traveled far with strangers and, happily, had no home to return to

I walked softly into the meadow with the sunrise at my back

I helped trample many of the finer things into the mud with my boots

I dismissed as unimportant their dogma that could have gained me success

I weaved odd snatches of facts into a threadbare cloak of illusion

I wished only to live peacefully, searching for a bit of quiet joy

I joined the hoarsely shouting throngs and raged uselessly, on a daily basis

I was filled with national pride and patriotism as a little boy

I grew ever more embarrassed and ashamed of what we had become

I saved as much as possible of my miserable take for those ‘golden years’

I saw my comrades gamble and waste but then demand bailouts and subsidies

I strolled through the shopping malls looking deeply into people’s faces

I noted the anger, fear, hurry, ignorance and greed in their gazes

I tried with all my being to understand and to make my peace

I only saw that it could make not any difference in 500 million years

I moved quickly and decisively through issues of consumerism

I observed a hairy caterpillar inch its way across a picnic table

I scanned the sky on clear nights for clues as to the mysteries

I found good evidence that we had wisely chosen to retain our blissful ignorance

My Interview Questions

Tell us about the best thing you have ever done

What is the average depth of the ocean

Name the most important thing you would change if you could

Given the chance, what would you do differently with your life

Share a question that you have pondered time and time again

What magazines do you make sure to always read

Where and what were you before your earliest memories

What mechanical tool do you find you use the most

Explain an intricacy of your favorite plot

Describe in some detail the one person you knew and most despised

Explain one concept you accept as an article of faith

Why do humans always find it necessary to go to war

In how many languages do you have some fluency

How many languages should be official in one country

Should police use personal judgment or treat every case the same

Between electricity and running water which would you do without

Why or why not is human life more sacred than that of the animals

Explain the principle behind the internal combustion engine

Talk a little about the book that you are currently reading

Give the scientific names of the four days when the seasons change

How do you tell if you are doing something nearly at your potential

What sports do you participate in and how do you train

What ways have you found that you can express yourself

How would a greenhouse gas bring about global warming

If you have a car, what kind and how old is it

What is different about the nut securing a chop saw blade

Who do you think was the greatest American

Why are Asian immigrants more successful than Hispanics

Name your favorite mathematician, alive or not

If a man lived right but had no Savior, could he go to heaven

According to science, what is the age of the earth and the universe

If you watch television, name three shows that you like

Where do you go to find out about current news and events

What species is the largest vertebrate ever to live

What clubs or societies are you a member of

Approximately what percent of humans now live in poverty

How important is the abortion issue in relation to other problems we face

How wide and how thick is a wooden 2x4

What is the relationship of Intelligent Design to the Theory of Evolution

What’s on the menu for your favorite breakfast

What are the three planets closest to our sun

Everyone wants to hear of your most embarrassing moment

What is the approximate current human population of the earth

What do you fear more than anything else

Name the second highest peak in the Himalayas

Talk frankly about the biggest lie you have ever told

What Internet site do you spend the most time at

What was the most important event of the 20^th Century

Ask a question that most people will not know and give the answer

Which continent is the largest of all

What determines the size of waves hitting a beach

What distinguishes man from other animals

Name one work of the very late J.S. Bach

How might your goals change if you knew you would live forever

If you had five minutes to live, right her and now, what would you do

How many prime numbers are there

Name three Canadian provinces and one Mexican state

What is di-hydrogen oxide good for

Would you call the conquest of the New World a great genocide

What is the longest time you ever went without speaking

What is the chief cause of animal extinction

What is a musical chord

How long will it be until your influence becomes background noise

What is the purpose of the ATP molecule

What civilization do you admire the most

Why should people be required a license to drive but not to have kids

Tell us something your father used to say

Why would humans be basically without hair

Who taught you the best and how were they so effective

When did the last ice age end

Who is your favorite painter and name your favorite work

How long ago was writing invented

What is your favorite tree

How are the animals used to make hamburgers killed

Do you have any pets, why or why not

What is escape velocity

What year was your mother born

What is the distinguishing characteristic of the earth from space

Who do you admire the most, either living or dead

Describe a problem in your field that you would like to solve

Would you take responsibility for control software on a manned spacecraft

Is mathematics an art, a craft, a science or something else

What is your own normal heartbeat

Tell us about your ancestry

What is the main difference between the sharks and the fishes

Talk about any project you are currently working on outside of work

What do you usually do on Saturday nights

How did the English language originate

How much money does the US spend on defense per year

Why or why not do you practice recycling

Where does your community obtain its water supply

What supplements or medications do you take

How far away is the moon

Why does the sound of a jet seem to come from behind it

What language has the most speakers today

What would you like to do on your ideal 3 week vacation

How old do you expect to be when you die

What would you do tomorrow if you could stop working today

Presque Vu

There surely has to be a different sort of life but we simply cannot quite see

For there were brief periods when we felt that we were almost a part of it

A different sort of time, now ignored by us all, in our frantic rushes

Perhaps it still flows somewhere, unnoticed in the background

There can be no guides prepared by any industry to help us catch a glimpse

Just as well as most of us run blindly, nearly all the time

Though sensed peripherally for instants, it is quickly shrugged away

And we are carried on again by this vapid stream of daily lives

Outside of the phony cacophony raised over shiny baubles that are held for sale

During the brief and quiet moments in which we find the time to think

Possibly there was a vision of lives based on a different set of values

Where the sounds of diesel motors do not awaken our small children

I might have heard of a place where one listens as birds call out the coming dawn

A place where a quiet people dwell who make a slow but steady progress

Perhaps waking troubled in the night, there had been a clue

Clearly, we had seen most issues but never known quite how to face them

Maybe sleepers such as we, out walking, stumbled seeing merely our own dreams

Sometimes almost wakened, disturbed as we lurched and cast about

It seems there might have been, at times, a message left in a shaft of light

Or some trace of meaning disappearing beyond a distant ridge

Was that it there in memories of quiet farms seen from the road?

Or did I see something glimmering in the sunset waters off that lake?

I wondered why I thought that I remembered things I knew I had never seen

I did know why the way I really lived had often lead to tears

There seemed to be a message in the snowflakes that fell from all directions

Deciphering such things might have helped me to grasp what I had felt

What was that which dissolved around the corner, up ahead in the dusk?

From whence came that comforting illusion of another people in other towns?

Perhaps it was not just some advertising music and the scenery of marketing

That message almost read which came on the warm winds of early May

Driven in a hurry with the other rodents, nonetheless, were there not some moments?

Just the same, sometimes a sense of calm - amid that great confusion?

Was there not the sound of quiet music almost played and just about enjoyed?

I think I may once have started to believe, but I cannot quite remember

Many times I snapped my head back but what it might have been, was gone

But, nonetheless, I even have the memories of what I thought I saw

It seemed always to be present in the ruins of where they dwelled so long ago

Something synthesized only in our minds, many came to believe

In the blue light of the winter it came so strong that we commenced to howl

Then, straining in our excitement, we absorbed the vaster silence

Beneath the green lake waters diving, something scattered with small fish

But left my head to pop like a bubble through the surface once again

Perhaps in the quiet of a pre-dawn coolness, I saw something linger

Totally forgotten or cruelly ridiculed in the harsh light of modern life

Sometimes it suffused the very air and my coat would bristle

Too often only half-baked memories lent me precious little comfort

Maybe when birds were singing and light first began to form new shadows

Still, roaring once again, that real and terrible certainty returned in full

Watching as the trout rose taking the peaceful twilight long ago in Spring

Brute repetition finally teaches us that there is but only one true way

In the first few minutes from a summit with a view not easily obtained

Too easily our minds simply return to their deeply-rutted track

In the velvet night, what was this spectral image that may have paid a call?

But wait, no doubt can exist regarding the time spent beneath the wheel

When the snow fell yet again upon older snow, was that some somber power?

The endless stream of empty chatter quickly brings us back online

Something that kept returning despite all of what I thought I knew

Somewhere I cannot take you, whereof we both know different scattered details

From a dignified spruce, boughs outstretched, in a quiet meadow

It’s very grace, for just a moment, the most palpable of things

What was that state of mind about? Brought on by gentle music

But quickly lost in the sweat and dust and the hoarse shouting of many days

Was there not a hidden message in the patterns of the clouds at sunset?

Maybe without all the other foolish distractions, I just might have discerned

We can only hope that it is not just a pathetic illusion or by-product of the hype

That a certain set of circumstances might at last bring it clearly to the light

When Everything

when everything is quiet one can hear the trickling of clear thoughts

and those real events finally emerge from this fuzzy blur

when everything is making sense and it's dark and it is cool

there is little left that we should fear

when everything can be seen and heard in its own good time

and there are no shrieking sounds or flashing lights

when everything stops its pushing, its shoving and its screaming

we find that peaceful silence is not empty, after all

when everything stops spinning and the shouting fades away

the quiet hidden things begin to croak and peep once more

when everything comes into focus and your feet are on the ground

enjoy this fleeting moment before you are swept away again

when everything turns over and the world can make no sense

there can come a healing silence if there is but a little darkness

when everything is rushed and naked confusion is the rule

then emerges a strength born in the quiet dark alone

when everything is resting and you are left to think

pray you find these springs from which to draw your healing

when everything is silent as the snow falls upon the ground

inside grows a joy that sits beside a warming fire

when everything goes as it should upon a moonless night

the misty milky way reveals more than a simple cold starlight

when everything that has no meaning becomes extremely clear

it is time to let the deeper things percolate up into your mind

when everything is finally still after all the noisy penetrating trivia

perhaps a moments reflection is worth a year’s entertainment

when everything that incessantly clamors is left without an audience

once again, mysteries that cry out can be carried in upon the wind

when everything seems simpler though you do not understand it

we have peeled back yet another layer from the onion of our mandala

when everything unneeded falls away as if behind us up in outer space

then perhaps comes another time when wonder finds its place

when everything that beckoned lies silent at one's resting feet

then maybe this miraculous spring can truly bubble freely

when everything collapses inward as you are left alone

I hope you find there is, indeed, a core remaining at the center

when everything is wrapped in black, and fall ignites the stars

may you, just one time, glimpse the beckoning void for yourself

when everything is not just swirling by from out of every corner

perhaps it's then that it's the time to see what may still be important

when everything seems way too close up and far too personal for your taste

may you glimpse the wisdom in those images from out in deep space

when everything has just been wrong for way too goddamn long

would that you find that elusive peace within, my tortured brother

when everything we hold in honor is simply used to clean the floors

sit with me then and ponder, the moonlight from our rowboat

when everything closes in one day from all sides and all at once

hopefully no longer can you only simply turn away

When everything and everyone has finally chosen between only black and white

Hopefully, god can still be found in the colors of the rainbow

When everything you wanted to complete is no longer within your grasp

Then you will find the questions you never had the time to ask

When everything fades away to the ticking of a clock some winter afternoon

Watch the sun as it chases growing shadows across your tiny room

When everything loses its color as the twilight fades away

May you close your eyes and rest in peace until another day

When everything falls into its place and it’s not as late as you had thought

I wish you luck with grasping the real meaning of your success

When everything seems full of promise and the days grow ever brighter

Take care to notice when the leaves reach the very height of their fullness

When everything reduces to the sound of silence behind closed eyes

Does your heart race quite strangely and do random thoughts assail you?

When everything cries out, but you find that you can rest in peace

Can it matter if you have understood or only learned to ignore?

When everything moves away from you at the speed of light

How can it change the universe to observe the polarity of a photon?

When everything can be explained in terms of unrelated contradictions

It should come as no surprise to achieve great wealth and then to die of cancer

When everything is turning green and gentle rains promise peaceful times

I hope that you can find your way amid the chorus of the marshes

When everything is quiet and darkness fills a starry sky

Note the occasional meteor that streaks brightly in less than a heartbeat

When everything has come down to a decision made many years ago

Sometimes it’s hard to think about what might happen long from now

When everything depends upon choices made without time for deliberation

Instincts trained in long years of practice must somehow see one through

When everything we held in the highest place of honor stops making any real sense

What nearly unnoticeable strength will emerge to light our lonely path?

When everything that is needed is no longer available in the stores

Perhaps it will be time again to simply listen as rain falls upon the roof

When everything goes out of focus and voices seem so far away

Pain, too, is dulled and great suffering is eased, with just a little mercy

When everything continues but without any reasons that we can perceive

Perhaps the sounds of nature may help re-sort the order from confusion

When everything is still but the day, nonetheless, continues to begin

Let there be a moment left before the noise and dust and turbulence start again

When the present reduces to the last 3 minutes of passing distractions

Let this so-called illusion be penetrated by some observer from within

Neither Cause

Neither a cause nor a working

simply a rendering of meaning

not seen but reflected

like an image in the water,

once observed dissolving into wavelets

neither a loss nor a gain

outlining without any detail

working with the sunset

and just as quickly, fades away

neither in my hand nor of my mind

was that a shadow of some reflection?

neither a joining nor a parting

yet providing subtle background harmony

that might amplify some reality

neither quite alone nor a part of things we see

flowing well outside our event horizon

neither with one nor against another

vast indifference of the void

emptiness that our minds can never fill

neither part of life nor facet of death

far more than we will ever know

and infinitely less than we always feel

neither with the rain nor in the clouds

builds like lightning

and strikes as rainbows

neither close at hand nor ever far away

even when within our minds,

always remaining to be seen

neither hope for the religions nor friend of any science

might laugh had it our reason

less a guiding light than a sourceless shadow

more a riff than an algorithm

like the emergent tones from good harmony

or windsong through distant trees

Undefined Is Not

the undefined is not the autumn breeze

that sets the blazing leaves to sighing

the undefined is not the things we say

or even in our way of thinking

the undefined is not a friend to all

yet it can bear us no ill will

the undefined is not outside of us

but does not spring from within

the undefined is not attenuated

by the expansion of the universe

the undefined is not in the words we read

for it cannot be written

the undefined is not a willful force

but flows as surely as does water down a hill

the undefined is not a thing that can be bought or sold

rather is a boundless resource for anyone to use

the undefined is not an action

still it is the cause of many things

the undefined is not the people's friend

but they prosper in its alignment

the undefined is not a particle with mass

yet it acts with a force all of its own

the undefined is not the sky's reflection caught

in the smallest brook

the undefined is not in motion

but simply always fills this expanding universe

the undefined is not religious

for the religious do not seek it

the undefined is not a salmon’s gleaming blur

in its spawning creek

the undefined is not a structure

however, it is complete, without a form

the undefined is not a creature

yet we may not know the difference

the undefined is not simply the unknown

for we may have glimpsed it often as we passed

the undefined is not the tinkling of a stream

but somehow it is wrapped about that sound

the undefined is not this loneliness that we cannot escape

and though it causes nothing its effects are everywhere

the undefined is not the ignorance that surrounds us

but it is quite at home with both good and bad alike

the undefined is not in all the grains of sand

still each grain can carry its entire message

the undefined is not an ally or an enemy

but remains very close to us each and every day

the undefined is not a part of our family values

though it can be found in all our homes

the undefined is not in the flames of the campfire

yet it may be echoed in the fire’s quiet snapping

the undefined is not a mystery

even though we never comprehend it

the undefined plays no part in our daily lives

but there can be no evasion of its certain path

the undefined is not the million snowflakes

which fall in groups in all directions

the undefined is not empty

for it must surround the void

Riffs

As I stirred the fireplace embers I shivered once more in that bitter cold

The empty, hopeless sounds of frozen gray dawns again overwhelmed me

You placed a hand gently on my shoulder, asking when I would be to bed

After the explosion I lay deafened, curled up and unwilling to move again

After what seemed like minutes the wail of the sirens drew near

Your blood felt warm upon my skin in the bright winter sun of the desert

I nodded under the shade trees in the park during the balmy summer twilight

Snatches of long-forgotten conversations filled my head in brief, popping bubbles

At last I heard mothers calling all us kids home for supper

I would always dream I had skipped a very difficult class right up until finals week

Nonetheless I would not give up my plans for graduation

Sometimes I would let that rowdy boy laugh at the old fool he found himself within

As the rusty red sun rose again over gray streets, July lacked a purpose

Pulling on our dirty work clothes once more, we found it difficult to hurry

A tinny radio greeted us in the beat up old truck as the dog watched us go

She saw too much for many years working intake at the emergency room

She took care of others and watched herself as she let go

Just the same, she still remembered that young Nurse Nancy in her new white cap

As the hot, dry wind came up again I remembered rainy summer days

We were on call for heart attacks, drunks and motorcycle wrecks

As the tones vibrated me to my feet, briefly I recalled a dream that I had left

Laying in sweat and dirt under the car I thanked Jesus for his help, once again

It occurred to me that I would not reflect back upon this time with pleasure

I was fumbling blindly for a missing tool when I heard the children laugh at play

Long after my injury I tried to recall moving without first considering the pain

The neighbors often greeted me kindly as I slowly shuffled by

I wondered if my mind was as worn out as my body, but simply could not let me know

Though I was not affected by the layoffs I still found it difficult to sleep

I needed to reconsider family debt in this new and uncertain light

The sleepy boredom of my children helped calm me in the morning

Decades later they briefly visited us while comparing notes with each other

I felt uncomfortable and small in the presence of those brave foreign pilots

They had brought the war to this village that they could barely see from so far above

I felt I stood among them as they gazed down upon my broken body

I helped them to position me for treatment and turned on the oxygen

It was not until much later that they awoke me with the grinding pain

They kept fairly low profiles as they pulled strings and bought and sold

They paid off officials to rezone, built cheaply and congratulated each other

They did not begin to worry until their expensive tires were slashed again

He spent time cleaning up the riverside campsites that others left behind

The meadow was immaculate and pure but his clothes were torn and dirty

He often went for days on end without a decent media immersion

After the baby was born she tucked him in a discarded milk container

She was surprised and astonished upon delivering the afterbirth

Later that same day liberals heard the child’s weak cries from a green recycling bin

The intrepid, overweight hunter removed his glasses to use the rifle scope

The great bear skinned the giant salmon with his awful teeth

The fatal stroke had already claimed him but he reflexively pulled the trigger

He missed the camaraderie, the danger and the excitement of prison life

It was almost a relief when he was again convicted of assault and possession -

For no one but his jail posse could ever understand his life experience

I bookmarked my musings upon imagined slights and got up for the next big meeting

It was another make or break decision for which we must all get on board

Though my plate was full, I promised to stay on message with the take away

They surprised me as I ripped through their shit, looking for things to sell

The guy looked pretty scared but the woman screamed for my blood

I pulled up and twisted hard as my knife went to its hilt inside his stomach

Safely buzzed, I wasn’t tormented by the soft voices of our Ancient Ones

The merciless sun beat down on our government modular and our trash blew downwind

Dust clouds smudged the desert sky again as I returned with more cold beer

They worked me so hard I even dreamed about the problems they set before me

Though I achieved the certificate, I remembered clearly my many weaknesses

It was like that many years later when I would often dream of dying

I bade them fix the books with a wink and a nod which made me rich

Later I convinced myself that I honestly said I had no knowledge of their fabrications

Council advised me to say only how eagerly I looked forward to clearing my name

I was overturned and swimming before I had the slightest inkling

As I fought for the surface the current washed me into a quiet eddy

In that brief transcendent moment, I needed consider nothing else

Subliminal Logic

I went searching for algebra and found shiny wrestlers in makeup on steroids

You needed to form complete sentences but you wound up simply texting

On the trail of Latin etymologies there were several signs for real estate

Hoping for the Sports Section, protease inhibitors brought me disappointment

With the Physics Lust upon me, I wound up running fantasy computer Hos

Looking for a fast-food drive-through you stumbled on a partial integration

Imagining the count of stars in a galaxy, I saw infinite litter on the ground

After taking the shrooms, nanoscale quantum effects brought on tears of joy

Understanding the earth’s precession earned rewards of caffeine and sugar

Groping the remote yielded only a cross-section of a stupid shield volcano

Elliptical symmetry brought me in contact with the Tibetan Buddhist monks

Suddenly big screen Dolby StarWars became a black and white chemistry text

IPod shuffling along I reckoned which way the earth rotated under my feet

Bored with the Federalist Papers, you summoned PuffDaddy for a real lesson

Trying to win your heart, I brought you a copy of Newton’s Principia

She found the remains of a failed numerical integration in her makeup kit

The herd chewed their cuds patiently awaiting some singularity or another

The immigrant gave up on English and began speaking only computer codes

Struggling to find the exit they were surrounded by closely packed isobars

Seeing a Big Bang simulation he tried to remember what movie it was from

Following ignorant intuition I managed to re-invent cold fusion in a jar

Asphyxiating the zebra, the lion was unaware of the passing equinox

Gazing in the microscope she was appalled at what crawled in her mouth

Frightened by the frank uncertainty of the scientists they clung uneasily to their Bibles

Stumbling with tensors I found great relief in merely sweeping floors

Hungry for meat, salt and fat they found photosynthesis less than a miracle

Peering inside the simulation, I saw that it squirmed with differential equations

Magnetic Resonance Imagery clearly showed the unborn Crack baby’s grasping hand

I stumbled over the dog in the dark despite his obvious infrared signature

Hurrying to Wal*Mart, the family struck and killed a wandering singular matrix

Tired of my long confusion, I sought a chaos theory based solution

Reaching for a beer the trucker was struck by the fractal beauty of the highway

jogging through the park I caught just a glimpse of a tiny prancing Eocene horse

Looking for a parking spot he ran straight over evidence of plate tectonics

I saw blazing porch lights obscure photons billions of years old streaking from the sky

Amidst broken bottles and discarded needles, you found an irregular German infinitive

Stalled in traffic, I became a placid notochord in a vast and warm inland sea

Rising too quickly she hyperventilated images of complexity and uncertainty

Struggling up the Waterfall Model, I felt my colors fade like some tired salmon

The thick layer of ash, several million years old, did not effect her sales pitch, one iota

I used a laser to burn microscopic pits into a plastic DVD to backup my confessions

Distracted by her cellphone, she continued in motion relative to her car and the tree

I had had nothing to eat that day outside of an arbitrary constant of integration

He flipped channels idly searching for curvaceous Jungian archetypes

In the eyes of a boy with Down’s Syndrome I saw a single gene expressed

Facing the geological history in the Grand Canyon, he invoked a Biblical flood

Entering the abandoned cave I realized how much man needed dogs and fire

The fortune teller was nonplussed by her client’s vision of that Schrodinger’s cat

I contrasted the infinite with the uncountable pushing my cart down aisle 5

After the party, he dreamed of sensing a neutrino in an underground aquifer

Walking on the beach, I pondered those fossil human footprints from Africa

They found the Aurora Borealis far less spectacular than Disney’s wondrous fireworks

As we held each other tightly, the purpose of galactic clusters eluded me

The candidate dared not flipflop though the earth’s magnetic pole had reversed many times

Stumbling over quantum uncertainty, I whacked into one of Plato’s Ideals

He did not question where in Maslow’s Hierarchy his loud new pickup muffler fit

The sound of her medieval surname recalled in me Tolkein’s love of ancient Norse

Recoiling from the so-called fossils, she thanked Jesus for bilateral symmetry

Hearing their rancorous debate, I puzzled over the study of Creation Myths

They sought relief inhaling petroleum distillates from sealed plastic bags

Crawling on my hands and knees while scrubbing, I thought of approaching c

Bathing naked in ultraviolet rays, I mused upon their birth in far-off nuclear fission

Thinking of my trillion living cells, I felt my sense of self begin slowly to dissolve

Chronic inhalation of the particulates around her crib curbed her growth

I just made it better than it had to be and ensured that it was easy to repair

I hoped with our passing that this wonderful awareness did not simply disappear

I was struck by the unnecessary beauty of leaves without their chlorophyll

I observed orderly crystallization of atmospheric moisture into myriad snowflakes

Casually responding, a million reactions occurred simultaneously in my brain

I pondered whether the Golden Mean was truth revealed or facts discovered

At the turnstile, I had a vision of a supercomputer jet wing vortex simulation

She accepted perspective drawing without thinking, based upon so many examples

My attempts to decipher whale songs lead not to English but tended more towards Bach

His team raced to catalogue new life forms barely ahead of their extinction

I had trouble convincing myself that this hummingbird was not actually a miracle

Unconsciously I continued integrating discrete instants into a continuous past

Almost Over

I saw the starry night sky whirling about up above me once again, long ago

And I knew that it was almost over for me just the same as for all of you

As I turned the pages in your wondrous books with a warm satisfaction

It slowly came to me that it would not always be like this

Gliding down the hills with thoughtless skill and senses still intact

It grew so much sweeter as I felt my time grow ever more quickly, shorter

Listening to the soft music as the million snowflakes fell

Tears filled my eyes from gratitude as well as the approaching emptiness

Standing still but quivering with every sense on fire

It grew stronger the more I realized how soon it would be no more

Immersed in the observation of one of earth’s tiny wonders

Great hunger arose within me to see them all before the darkness bound me

As the gentle melodies brought moments of peace to my angry life

How hard I tried to stay there even though they arrived without an effort

As I heard the thunder roll about from east to west through that gentle rain

I grew so full with its meaning I might have left in peace right then

Just as anger poisoned every thought and life seemed completely pointless

A song would come to calm me and I saw again how it was almost over

When my skull was too long pierced by violent, random, pointless noise

Then proper harmony and rhythm slowed me down to show me once again

As each new world opened up to me in endless interesting possibilities

With so much left to do I knew my time must seem to come too soon

Leaping out of ordinary circumstance like some psychedelic trout

I tingled in that other atmosphere gathering brief but shining images

In your arms I lay in peace and happiness with the world held briefly at arm’s length

I flashed upon many billions of years and knew that, it was almost over

Gazing up with every molecule of every cell at peace for just one moment

Those intervals were too few in the fleeting blur that was the passing of my life

I tried to string together those brief instants when everything made sense

Tried to wear them like some beads, walking on towards rushing darkness

Got lost and turned around, cried out and stumbled blindly

Awoke inside strange dreams pointing unavoidably towards the precipice

Shattered your harmony and trampled finely-wrought creations underfoot

Awoke at intervals to apologize, unable to pay for all my guilt with simple shame

And just as I achieved the apex of my tiny leap

Glancing quickly about I sensed all at once that, it was almost over

It has always been almost over and nearly time to slip back to nowhere

My short life spent in preparation for a return to a nothing filled without even emptiness

Mandala

surrounding the perimeter lies the infinite corona of the void

          closer in lies a region of pure faith congealed from distilled facts

nearer is an area of fuzzy understanding and conjecture based on education

          moving inward there are those places I have been to in my short life

closer still are all the people that I have ever met in my small travels

          next to me are my friends and wife and family, alive as well as dead

inside my waking mind is the ability to reason about the within and without

          writing helps to dislodge the many thoughts that bind me so tightly

the sounds of my emotions emerge in the music that I make

          from the unconscious emerges the contemplation of the universals

the void is whence my memories emerge and my experiences will end

          my faith wells unbidden and is correct without a proof

scattered facts and structured learning seethe in and out of thought

          sometimes I see similarities in different mountain ranges

people I have met return to finish things in dreams

          the ones who nurtured me always remain at my shoulder

I strive at once to grasp the science and to understand my imagination

          I write to bear witness to all this foolishness mixing with free beauty

I play a music which is a pipeline to my innermost state of mind

          I feel the power of images stirred by natural patterns in the stones

I peer at the void but often find only fear that there is no uncertainty

          Faith bubbles up like water in the current of a river clean and deep

The beauty of the calculus bespeaks a worthwhile striving

          The place that I am staying might remind me of another from long ago

All those that I have met may be the same cards dealt from different decks

          The great aunts and the newborns get mixed up inside me over time

My mind never takes any holidays but rests quite well at night

          Fingers to the keyboard, I summon grammar, syntax and vocabulary

Music is, for me, much more freeform and lacks any pretense

          Waking from a dream, a much deeper channel briefly opens to me

Death waits to re-merge me with a much larger process

          I believe in things that come to me where reason is not a tool

Observations of the known universe must be woven into patterns

          Travel broadens me through the stripping of mindless daily routines

Often when I speak it is with the voice of one who has gone away

          Sometimes when I feel, it is because of what they gave me

Day by day I pack more facts and figures almost safely somewhere within

          Writing organizes the beauty, shame and wonder that I know

Music emerges from and connects with a different and wordless level

          The things I thought I almost saw come from somewhere we all share