We Cannot Help But Howl

Like a wolf pack howling in the silence of a cold arctic darkness

There is no hope whatsoever, therefore we resolve to try all the harder

There is no chance for survival but still, we must choose life

The end is always very near but, quite naturally, we decide to work instead of dance

Things cannot possibly turn out, but we must still try and arrange them

There can be no happy ending but we consciously decide to ignore that

Though many are taken every day, we who remain always continue on

The goal remains forever unattainable so our only victory is in the struggle

Despite the inescapable certainty, we play on against the overwhelming odds

There is no far-off light to seek yet we still grope through the darkness

Our feet will never feel the bottom but it does not stop our swimming

Though no spirit can ever hear us we cannot help but sing

Tossed in this swirling entropy we do not abandon ourselves to chaos and confusion

We know not where we come from, yet, we must struggle before we return

We choose to live despite an implacable end leading to an unknowable

Blackness and mystery surround us, but we strive out of more than just simple fear

Despite the meaninglessness of the infinite emptiness, we retain a sense of purpose

Though the nights are cold and the winters long, somehow we look to the Spring

Casting off an imaginary heaven we nevertheless cannot lose the lonely faith that sustains us

No matter that we are lost and wet and hungry, there is no child who is a stranger

Even as we are being overtaken there is no quenching our need to understand

Right as we disappear beneath the wheel, we are still waving the others onward

We dare to peer into the blackness and not give in to empty pleasure seeking

No warmly lit and peaceful shelter awaits us, and yet we must still travel on

It cannot be otherwise, or we would be most certainly far worse than simply lost

Though we find no evidence of worthiness from our efforts, they can never cease

Strugglers

despite all the unhealed cuts and purple bruises

ignoring old wounds and the aches and the pains

staying in the game

creating new plans after dismal failures

willing to struggle for years without success

hopeful no matter appearance or situation

no matter the failures, in spite of the wrong turns

oblivious to the posted odds

remaining focused on the race itself

suiting up despite all the previous losses

beaten often, yes, but not beaten down

bloody but not yet broken

coping with mental and physical handicaps

catching the pack though left far behind at the start

making full use of anything at hand

fighting through the bitter tears

unable to cast aside powerful dreams

never accepting the relief of simple hopelessness

walking bad roads that always seem uphill

sacrificing youth and even life itself

always holding fast to the passion of living

ignored and unwanted

cast off and left without training

nonetheless finding a clear and unique voice

laughed at by the cliques

shoved aside by the powerful

succeeding with the help of a simple but marvelous persistence

malformed, skinny, fat, scarred and/or quite ugly

unable to quite reach the rungs of the ladder

fated often to lose but never able to quit

tripped up on obstacles purposely erected by others

held further back by the rules of the rigged game

forced to seek wisdom in the lot they were handed

downtrodden and forgotten, ignored or abused

cast out without being given a sense of direction

trying so hard, without any lessons

born to those who neither achieved nor were expected

assumed to be dull and lacking ambition

yet roaring up from behind, unaware of the difficulties

left outside too often to their own immature devices

not cared for or nurtured, but ignored and injured

adapting and overcoming, finding a way on their own

rarely even looked at, then laughed at and quickly beaten

not good enough for TV or the groups back at school

tortuously discovering what others deliberately did not show them

often failing, but never quitting

too far removed from the herd to know they could not succeed

carving out their own positions of self-respect and honest dignity

scorned by the fair and the offspring of the privileged

not taken for granted - just not even considered at all

but driven on by a strong but quiet voice from the inside

finding new hope when things have all gone wrong

stepped on without malice and kicked aside with indifference

achieving success and still knowing mercy

living off tiny dreams in an atmosphere of failure

able to persevere despite years of disappointment

achieving, in the end, what the wellborn might scorn as mundane

Maybe Not Too Late

when I awoke and gasped for breath I struggled to remember

a thing that I had meant to do so long ago somewhere in the past,

some promise I had made, and I was drenched in icy sweat

now, how could I have forgotten, how could I have delayed

maybe, I thought, it's still not too late…

if I really try my best

maybe it's not too late for all those things I never did

for all the apologies I did not mean

all the places I have never been

perhaps not yet too late to search for

that which was so easily avoided for so long

still there may be time enough to craft myself that Happy Ever After

when I looked round with loudly beating heart

and breaths drawn quick and shallow with a buzzing in my ears

oh sweet jesus let it be...not yet too late for me

as I strive to remember all those things I absolutely cannot leave undone

the time for their completions, once so long and far away

it seems, may have somehow simply slipped away

should I fail to complete them, if their time has past

the meaning of the rest of me is certainly diminished

and the empty blackness will be my just and final state

when I awoke and cast about in fear and nervous tension

I sensed a trap I had not even seen

until it had grown well beyond very late

I looked about quite anxiously for help

but there were no grownups standing by

I felt so alone and frightened, how might this mistake have happened

quite late it seems, quite dark and still

but my sudden, yet far beyond tardy, urgency surges

maybe, oh please just maybe, let it be not already way too late, way too long ago for me

Coming To

All my life, they were always there to help me as I struggled by

          And I kept on wildly thrashing, out into the weeds, far from any path

All those times they gave to me, many things I did not earn or deserve at all

          Still I never thought of joining them, to become a human being

Everywhere I traveled, people took me in and helped to clean me up

          I thought that I was thankful then, but now it simply brings me tears

Every time I took a new step, someone was there to help me with my fall

          But I believed I made my own way, asking nothing and with no help at all

Anything that I accomplished, someone stood quietly behind my shoulder

          Yet I blundered on, macho pride pulled down tight, across my eyes

All the things I read were gifts I ripped opened and then quickly cast aside

          And I thought that I was filling some kind of void with a congealing wisdom

All my life my debts increased as I made messes, everywhere I went

          I ragged upon our foolish leaders and I ignored those who kept things going

All those times they picked me up when I ran off blindly, then fell down

          And I only looked for the selfish lesson, as I hurried off once again

Everywhere I went it seemed I made a comfortable and easy living

          I never questioned the poverty and suffering that I saw all around me

Every time I made more new friends I had already cast aside the old

          Now, sometimes, I sit alone and wonder how they all have been

Anything at which I did not succeed was no real fault of mine

          My old attitudes are far more painful now, than those simple failures

All the things that I relied upon came from the invisible work of others

          Though far too late, I wish now to thank all those who came before me

All my life I broke unspoken promises and walked away from silent vows

          Yet somehow an unearned love at last began to open up my eyes

Far too often I took too much and threw away the spoiled remains

          Now I find a simple pleasure in the repair and use of castoffs

Everywhere I traveled gentle music played somewhere off in the background

          But I never took the time to stop and listen, with all of those good people

Every time I began to find a home I made new plans and simply drove away

          Now I wonder at my actions just as others did so long ago

Anything I finished I laid upon my own wondrous brightness

          But I merely perched in blindness upon the works of others

All the things I took for granted came with huge bills that I never saw

          These great debts I have accrued have now brought a poverty to my soul

All my life good people of quiet faith were always there to bail me out

          I never really saw them as they shook their heads in silent patience

All those times I only ranted over the stupidity, greed and waste I saw

          They just went on with the work that kept the wheels on our world

Everywhere I landed there were those who took the time to do things right

          Incorrectly, I thought them docile pawns of the fools who were in charge

Every time I lay upon the ground I saw only futility in their tireless efforts

          At last I grasp the great necessity of the endless, hopeless struggle

Anything I simply took for granted really took more effort than I was worth

          At least now I can work a while to pay off a bit of my debt of shame

The voices that now calm me, I did not have the time to listen to, way back then

          I wonder at the willful ignorance from which I may at last be emerging

All my life the work I did was based not on giving, but on taking

          Finally I stumble to the service of that which has quietly sustained me

All those times I weaved blindfolded, tottering across unknown landscapes

          I struggle with the memory of the dead zone that always expanded all around me

Everywhere I left my mark, good people stood and shrugged their shoulders

          Now I, too, cannot understand but then, I did not even know enough to try

Every time I grew too hateful, their calming aura drew me from the brink

          Finally I simply try to add a tiny phrase to that peaceful chorus

All the people that I never noticed were so puzzled as I blundered by

          Now, I often sit and shake my head, as if coming to from some harsh blow