We Cannot Help But Howl

Like a wolf pack howling in the silence of a cold arctic darkness

There is no hope whatsoever, therefore we resolve to try all the harder

There is no chance for survival but still, we must choose life

The end is always very near but, quite naturally, we decide to work instead of dance

Things cannot possibly turn out, but we must still try and arrange them

There can be no happy ending but we consciously decide to ignore that

Though many are taken every day, we who remain always continue on

The goal remains forever unattainable so our only victory is in the struggle

Despite the inescapable certainty, we play on against the overwhelming odds

There is no far-off light to seek yet we still grope through the darkness

Our feet will never feel the bottom but it does not stop our swimming

Though no spirit can ever hear us we cannot help but sing

Tossed in this swirling entropy we do not abandon ourselves to chaos and confusion

We know not where we come from, yet, we must struggle before we return

We choose to live despite an implacable end leading to an unknowable

Blackness and mystery surround us, but we strive out of more than just simple fear

Despite the meaninglessness of the infinite emptiness, we retain a sense of purpose

Though the nights are cold and the winters long, somehow we look to the Spring

Casting off an imaginary heaven we nevertheless cannot lose the lonely faith that sustains us

No matter that we are lost and wet and hungry, there is no child who is a stranger

Even as we are being overtaken there is no quenching our need to understand

Right as we disappear beneath the wheel, we are still waving the others onward

We dare to peer into the blackness and not give in to empty pleasure seeking

No warmly lit and peaceful shelter awaits us, and yet we must still travel on

It cannot be otherwise, or we would be most certainly far worse than simply lost

Though we find no evidence of worthiness from our efforts, they can never cease

Stay With Me

Stay With Me

Für Ingrid: Piano Composition by Fernando Ortega on Windham Hill Records Piano Sampler II.
Read while listening to the link below:

1^st Verse:

Don’t leave me

          Don’t leave me alone

Stay a while

          Stay a while here at home

Chorus:

Though time passes

          It fills us with laughter

Just this once before you go

2^nd Verse:

Don’t you Go

          Don’t leave me behind

Won’t you Stay

          You were so hard to find

Chorus:

Through our ages

          You helped turn the pages

Just hold me once then off you go

3^rd Verse:

Remember Me

          When you’re so far away

I loved you then

          As I love you today

Chorus:

Though the past now

          Holds greener pastures

Just hold me once before we go

4^th Verse:

Please need me

          Sometime late at night

I need you

          In your morning light

5^th Verse:

Come back to me

          Come back now and then

So good to see

          To see you again

Chorus:

Our time has passed us

          Still in joyous shadows

Just hold me once and we’ll be gone

The Lights Of Home

Sometimes I almost see them again like I did, from across our lake, driving back home at night

The kids all yelling while the dogs are jumping and her smile so warmly surrounding me

Keep stumbling back on those thousand little details I never really had time for, so long ago

Did not realize then how much a part of what I was, they really were

The lights of home that made things seem alright - not too bright but still so warm

It was so good to have somewhere to be, a place where they were always glad to see me

Funny how I could not see it so well back then, maybe it was all just too close for me to focus

Yeah, the many little things that made life worth living, each so small when viewed alone

Shutting down my old car once more, my hands all full, back safe in that little front yard

Tired but home again, where they knew me well and I could help out and not be in the way

The TV news on in the background, with all that crazy stuff we could always pretty much ignore

Sitting down once again at that old table, all together over supper, and what is going on?

I guess back then it didn’t take a lot to fill us up with a real sense of comfort and security

How good it was to have those lights that led me back to that warm, safe place every day

The details of our daily life grounding and protecting us from those clouds of dark confusion

The lights of home and knowing they were there, just down that old road to the quieter shore…

Strugglers

despite all the unhealed cuts and purple bruises

ignoring old wounds and the aches and the pains

staying in the game

creating new plans after dismal failures

willing to struggle for years without success

hopeful no matter appearance or situation

no matter the failures, in spite of the wrong turns

oblivious to the posted odds

remaining focused on the race itself

suiting up despite all the previous losses

beaten often, yes, but not beaten down

bloody but not yet broken

coping with mental and physical handicaps

catching the pack though left far behind at the start

making full use of anything at hand

fighting through the bitter tears

unable to cast aside powerful dreams

never accepting the relief of simple hopelessness

walking bad roads that always seem uphill

sacrificing youth and even life itself

always holding fast to the passion of living

ignored and unwanted

cast off and left without training

nonetheless finding a clear and unique voice

laughed at by the cliques

shoved aside by the powerful

succeeding with the help of a simple but marvelous persistence

malformed, skinny, fat, scarred and/or quite ugly

unable to quite reach the rungs of the ladder

fated often to lose but never able to quit

tripped up on obstacles purposely erected by others

held further back by the rules of the rigged game

forced to seek wisdom in the lot they were handed

downtrodden and forgotten, ignored or abused

cast out without being given a sense of direction

trying so hard, without any lessons

born to those who neither achieved nor were expected

assumed to be dull and lacking ambition

yet roaring up from behind, unaware of the difficulties

left outside too often to their own immature devices

not cared for or nurtured, but ignored and injured

adapting and overcoming, finding a way on their own

rarely even looked at, then laughed at and quickly beaten

not good enough for TV or the groups back at school

tortuously discovering what others deliberately did not show them

often failing, but never quitting

too far removed from the herd to know they could not succeed

carving out their own positions of self-respect and honest dignity

scorned by the fair and the offspring of the privileged

not taken for granted - just not even considered at all

but driven on by a strong but quiet voice from the inside

finding new hope when things have all gone wrong

stepped on without malice and kicked aside with indifference

achieving success and still knowing mercy

living off tiny dreams in an atmosphere of failure

able to persevere despite years of disappointment

achieving, in the end, what the wellborn might scorn as mundane

The Tao That

the Tao that is spoken cannot be heard

the Tao that is grasped still feels like the air

the Tao that is shared cannot be communicated

the Tao once observed is thereby forever altered

the Tao that is finally written

does not contain a single word

the Tao that is measured is thus resized again

the Tao once forgotten returns to its course

the Tao that is captured acts as does water

it reveals only the shape of its container

the Tao glimpsed as mere shadow

yields hints of its true nature

the Tao given off by events unrelated

forms the overtones stored within an echo

the Tao once grasped

evaporates quickly into nonsense

the Tao that is denied

accepts each and every argument

the Tao once visualized

dissolves like a dream upon reflection

the Tao exists not within us

but can fill our minds just the same

the Tao truly described

has no real outline

the Tao pursued

joins the moving shadows

the Tao defined

has no meaning

the Tao that is realized

lights our path without a source

the Tao imagined

is a dream of dreaming

the Tao ignored

is perfectly reflected

the Tao defiled

soils only the observer

the Tao once forsaken

creeps back from every side

the Tao clung to

does not remain on the fingers

the Tao not completed

gains eternal life

the Tao not considered

is freed to be revealed

the Tao not isolated

keeps to itself

the Tao not evaluated

retains its full potential

the Tao is not dilated

yet expands with the universe

the Tao not distanced

remains far away

the Tao not visible

is much easier to see

the Tao not called upon

gives forth a flood of answers

the Tao not present

outlines the entire truth within

the Tao not reconsidered

is considered once too often

the Tao not focused directly upon

reveals its minutest details

the Tao seen as shattered

is identical in each smaller piece

the Tao that is analyzed

is an unsorted and incomplete fossil

the Tao that is broken

is perfect in all respects

the Tao that bubbles from within

has a source outside the spring

the Tao that is filtered

gains impurities but loses nothing

the Tao that is polarized

is the same on either side of the filter

the Tao that fills the night sky

travels outside the speed of light

the Tao that covers everything

drifts down in spaces between the snowflakes

the Tao that lasts forever

never existed as it struck you

the Tao of uncountable infinities

exists outside of The Life Force

the Tao effects that we see

occur without actions that we could measure

the Tao that we will never know

we ignore at our utmost peril

the Tao that stretches back beyond forever

recurs completely in each smallest instant

Prismatics

I looked down into the depths of that clear and moving water

I saw memories shimmering in and out of the past

I listened as gentle breezes carried the sounds of the woods

I heard echoes of other times returning from far down the canyon

I stroked the gnarly bark of an ancient evergreen

I felt the calm which flowed from far beneath its surface

I breathed deeply of the earth, moistened by the gentle rains

I smelled the smoky fires that once had kept us safe

I walked alone in wasted landscapes dressed in filthy rags

I paused in the meadow as you bent to pick some flowers

I worked with hateful strangers and counted each and every minute

I tried to hold onto every moment in which we sat in peace

I steeped in all the influences that droned on about me from all sides

I drew only upon the faint but clear light that I found within

I groped my way in the mists of the profoundest of confusion

I lost my sight while searching but began to gain a vision

I read of far off galaxies and creatures that lived long ago

I began to understand the anxiety which marked my whole life thru

I gazed upon the yellow aspen leaves as they trembled in the fall

I felt my spirit rise into the deep blue sky which framed them

I sensed the gentle return of Spring upon my cheeks and forehead

I no longer had a need to stare straight into the sun simply to be sure

I stumbled on the broadest trail in the clearest light of day

I fell alone but then arose to find you there and awaiting me

I could pay no attention to the slow marching of all the passing years

I found myself in ever greater debt to many I would never know

I watched the sun go slowly down and then quickly disappear

I noted with interest, but not sorrow, the lines upon my hands

I found quiet joy in the large snowflakes that fell slowly from all directions

I dreamed a robot said on TV that factory food was his home cooking

I grew stronger playing happily in the shade of those old trees

I grew old standing quietly, protecting others from the sun

I sold out to the unfaithful for little more than a song

I finally went quite bankrupt and gladly mortgaged just my soul

I watched the tiny wavelets produced by a pebble

I saw a young boy skipping stones on a glacial lake long ago

I noticed that it had grown quite late and the streets were very empty

I hurried ever onward but slowly realized that I was not sure of the way

I leaped wide from basic instincts to unsupported conclusions

I fell so far I had no more need of either reason or excuses

I listened as the crows gathered and each tried to talk at once

I heard but a single voice that was both calm and reassuring

I walked far up an unknown trail hoping just to find a quiet overlook

I turned that last corner just as the first raindrops began to fall

I spoke but little as the days grew short and their shadows lengthened

I told these simple stories that I did not understand and no one else could hear

I looked upon peaks buried deep in snow, glistening in the winter sun

I wished that I had seen them before all these tourists had arrived

I listened for the faint tinkling of the gentle rain upon the windows

I heard that old wooden clock still ticking somewhere in the past

I studied many subjects during long years spent at all those schools

I learned so slowly that I could know but little in my very short lifetime

I spoke out often and with vigor when things did not seem right

I kept to myself when I finally realized that it had the same effect

I traveled on for what seemed like ages as the years came and went

I had arrived at some point but, until much later, could not really notice

I dozed off many times to the sounds of a stream

I awoke from dreams of my own dreaming and I was vaguely uncertain

I created a rich inner life more enjoyable than the shared illusion of reality

I was molded day and night by the wills and choices of those I did not see

I sat quietly in the pre-dawn watching colors return to the countryside

I arose to plod through another day sharing this land of make believe

I went so far back through my life that there were no longer any memories

I concluded there must come another time like that, and it would begin very soon

I grew up with the security of the imagined wonders yet to come

I grew old in the comfort of my own refashioned memories

I imagined the world as it still might have become

I believed in a world as I wished it might have been

I listened attentively for sounds I thought I may have missed

I heard snatches of blissful silence punctured by their raucous outbursts

I set out on my way with trepidation, doubt and uncertainty many years ago

I traveled far with strangers and, happily, had no home to return to

I walked softly into the meadow with the sunrise at my back

I helped trample many of the finer things into the mud with my boots

I dismissed as unimportant their dogma that could have gained me success

I weaved odd snatches of facts into a threadbare cloak of illusion

I wished only to live peacefully, searching for a bit of quiet joy

I joined the hoarsely shouting throngs and raged uselessly, on a daily basis

I was filled with national pride and patriotism as a little boy

I grew ever more embarrassed and ashamed of what we had become

I saved as much as possible of my miserable take for those ‘golden years’

I saw my comrades gamble and waste but then demand bailouts and subsidies

I strolled through the shopping malls looking deeply into people’s faces

I noted the anger, fear, hurry, ignorance and greed in their gazes

I tried with all my being to understand and to make my peace

I only saw that it could make not any difference in 500 million years

I moved quickly and decisively through issues of consumerism

I observed a hairy caterpillar inch its way across a picnic table

I scanned the sky on clear nights for clues as to the mysteries

I found good evidence that we had wisely chosen to retain our blissful ignorance

In The Spring

In the strong Spring runoff, mercy bubbles quite near the surface

In the leaves that open, hands reveal a secret

With the cleansing showers comes a joyful tear

With the longer days the sun performs an ageless miracle

By the swollen stream we sense the turning of the wheel

By the better light we see how long the road has been

From their many winter shadows now emerge the quiet plants

From their secret places come the creatures of the woods

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In the early morning there is sweet coolness still remaining

In your glance I see how much that you can feel it, too

With the help of Spring we rebind our dreams to the future

With the thaw, old leaves renew the soil that once sustained them

By the twilight we discern the changes from another winter’s passing

By the raindrops we can count every flower opening

From the smallest bud to the forest newborns, life recasts its magic spell

From a sublime cascading reaction the aspen sap begins to flow

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In the breezy shade of spruce trees, our steps are gently slowed

In the quiet of the forest we watch them at their prayers

With the energy of May's fresh sunlight the world restores itself

With the coming of each morning the earth is more reborn

By the time we start to grasp it once again, it slips away

By the raging creek we watch as the trout are awakened

From even small beginnings come wonders to behold

From quiet meditation reappear the things that every child knows

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In the last days of healthy frosts our aches retreat as our own juices flow again

In the prism of the morning dew there beckons all, a world that’s new

With the help of quiet showers something returns to fill its promise

With our happy smiles we walk and turn the hills beneath our feet

By the sunset through the clouds, both our thoughts are reflected

By the things that we hold dear, our vows remain unbroken

From us, the Spring brings forth the things that make this life worth living

From the time our eyes first opened, lent a grace both kind and gentle

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In the quiet of the meadow you can hear as good earth makes its music

In the heavy runoff you can see the richness of life’s passing

With the coming of the sweet grass, the elk seek a quiet place to calve

With great content we simply walk once more in gentle sunlight

By the spirit that animates these good woodlands we find our way once more

By the greatest fortune we can see the flowers bloom again

From out of the gray stillness comes a riot of colors like joyful singing

From this great upwelling do we sense a kindly deeper meaning

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